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Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Funny Sign Edition


I am sick. It sucks. I hate it. My throat hurts. And I've tried EVERYTHING short of kissing a goat with a mouth full of sugar.

Well, perhaps there's a lot more I could have done but in case you are wondering, here are the different medicines and remedies I've attempted.

Chicken Noodle Soup
Cold Medicine (Multi-Symptom)
Zantac...........ok that was just for my heartburn and upset stomache.
Cayenne Pepper in Water - Liquid Fire, Thanks Paul
Salt Water
Wild Orange Sweet Tea
Blackberry Tea
Black Coffee

And I've been trying these for the past three days and only NOW my throat is feelings slightly better. But I had a couple of allergy attacks in the middle of the night - you know, the kind where you feel like your lung is about to pop outta your mouth? Yeah that kind....not exactly fun. My mom suggested that it was the mucinex working.......WELL F*** YOU MUCINEX. Surely there is an easier way to control the mucas than making your entire respiratory and digestive system feel like its having a nuclear meltdown.

Oh well....I guess the IMPORTANT thing is that I am feeling better and don't have strep.
OH yeah....this is the funny sign addition, so I will be posting a lot of those.

You might be laughing at the fact that a gas station might pay more than the police, but perhaps with their improper use of the word "THEN" they should consider putting a note at the bottom that says "Education is not required".

Still, I wish gas was only 3.25 right now.

So today was President Obama's declared Armageddon. I'm still waiting for the earthquake in New Zealand to follow up with Harold Camping's prediction. But I guess in Obama's opinion if the United States crumbles the rest of the world will. As if people don't already think we are arrogant enough.By the way, it's PAUL'S birthday today and also the day the declaration of independence was signed. So if you have any left over fireworks from the day that it was adopted by the first continental congress, today would be a good day to shoot them off. And you can celebrate Paul's 34th (HAHAHAHAHAHAHHA HE'S OLD!!!) Birthday by checking out the World Famous Mokracy Blog and posting a comment. He'd appreciate it!

I probably could have gone without posting that one, but my blog my rules. :)

I am feeling better, but my throat still hurts. A lot of people told me to go to the doctor right after I told them I had a bad sore throat. That bothers me......aside from the fact that I don't have insurance, I'm a big fan of trying to figure out whats wrong first before going to pay a doctor to tell me I have something I could have found out on the internet or from friends in the business for free. I mean....I believe in going to a doctor when you have a condition that can only be treated by prescribed medicine...not to get a symptom based analysis. Why would I want to pay $25 (or $150 without insurance) to have a doctor tell me to buy some Tylenol and get some bed rest?

I had one person tell me that just because I didn't have white spots in the back, had no fever, have had it three times and know what it feels like, and wasn't showing most of the symptoms I couldn't be sure I didn't have strep throat. Really? Then I'll ask again - what is the point of going to the doctor for symptom-based analysis?

I don't care what religion you are, THAT'S funny.

I just got a random Instant Message from someone with the screenname "BigMelons3434". So far that's the most exciting thing that's happened.

I will officially have walked this earth for 30 years on Sunday. be fair, I wasn't walking for the first year and a half....but my tri-decade birthday is on the 7th. Having a big party at tumbleweeds on Saturday - and then Bardstown road. Needless to say, I'm not sure how far I'll get with any plans on Sunday but it will be interesting.

This is more appropriate on a bumper sticker, but the idea is still funny.

Speaking of Jesus, I've been going to church more regularly. Found a Lutheran church ironically called 'Faith Lutheran Church' in Jeffersonville, Indiana. I like Lutheran's. We are a welcoming bunch that don't get too hung up on what is written and focus more on a belief system that guides people's morals. Of all the church people I've known, I've found Lutheran's to be the least judgemental....and I'm pretty comfortable there. Particularly, because I believe it's not in our place to's in God's place.

Hopefully I'll remember this next time I'm on the road and call another driver "You stupid piece of inbred garbage!!!" Not that that happens very often, but to quote Val Kilmer in Tombstone (which is a great flick by the way), 'My Hypocrisy goes only so far.'

While I admire them for not dancing around it and being straight and to the point, in this day and age that could probably be considered a 'threat'.

Well, that does for it today. I'm going to go take more medicine and pray that I don't die this week.