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Friday, October 12, 2012

Biden's Malarkey and The Trip to Erie

Hey kids! I'm on twitter! Feel free to follow me....

@PeterJFelice


Now that that is over with, didja catch the vice presidential debates last night?? I watched a little of it, but it was really difficult seeing a man of Joe Biden's age resort to such immaturity and lack of professionalism. I mean, laughing at scoffing at his opponent on serious issues does not reflect who I want to take the oval office if something were to happen to the president. The liberal faithful love it. Which I also don't understand, they heavily criticized Romney for his 'behavior' last week. Sure, he probably could have lightened up on the moderator - but he was DEBATING. That's what you do during a debate! Sheesh. It makes me want to vote for Romney simply to do what I can to keep that joker out of office.

Joe Biden is living proof that God has a sense of humor. 


What a great meme! I'm gonna have to save this one and use it for future arguments.

So I briefly touched up on my grandfather's passing last week, but I didn't really talk much about our trip to Erie. It was a long trip. Two of my brothers, my future sister-in-law, my sister, my girlfriend and myself all piled into the new Chrysler Town and Country, or as Paul called it 'a mini-spaceship that looks like a van', and made the eight hour trip to Erie, PA.

Oh...and yes, the van we took was pretty awesome.



We did pretty good on the way there, only had to make two stops. One for gas and snacks and the other for lunch. But we added a third stop on the way home because Paul and I forgot to use the little musicians room before leaving the lunch stop.

I'd like to take this time to call Whitney, Mario's fiance, out. She posted this picture as we were getting ready to leave for erie.


And then about five hours in, I took this picture.....


Gotta love Karma!

Despite the circumstances, it was great to see all of my family members that I hadn't seen in years. My grandmother seemed to be doing well, considering she had just lost her husband. On the way home, Paul and I were discussing getting all of the grandkids on a telephone rotation to call my grandmother to make sure she is ok. I'm hoping we can do this as it would probably mean a lot to her.

Now here is a rare picture. Minus two great-grandchildren, this is all of the descendants of my grandmother.


We're a crazy bunch!

The funeral was a beautiful ceremony. I got to give a speech about how my grandfather would also start a conversation with me by telling the same joke. Everytime he would see me he would say 'Pete and Repeat were on a boat. Pete fell of, who was left?' Giggling, I would say 'Repeat' and he would repeat the joke. The most astonishing was when he lost his memory due to dementia and couldn't remember who I was when I went to visit, but when I started the joke myself and said 'Who was left?' without hesitation he responded 'Repeat.' It was a really neat story, and my family seemed to appreciate me sharing it with them.

My brother Matt also gave a speech about Poppa's background and his experienced in the Navy and as a Carpenter. It was also a nicely delivered speech.

Following the church service, we went out to Heaven's Gate Cemetery and my grandfather was laid to rest following a 21 gun salute. I had never seen a military funeral before so that was pretty neat. And my uncle Joe gave us all shells from the salute that we could keep as souvenirs.

 

After the ceremonies had concluded, we went to my Uncle Joes for a mini-family reunion. During that time, I felt it necessary to show Alison the Erie Bay as she had never seen it before. We took a trip out there and got some good pictures of the bay.


Seeing the way the clouds were formed and the shining sun reflect on the water like that really filled me with hope for my grandfather. It was such a peaceful feeling and I felt happy that he was now walking with God in heaven. He will definitely be missed.

And this concludes todays 'picture blog'. As always thanks for reading!

- PJF










Thursday, October 11, 2012

Be More Happy

Well, by popular demand I am continuing the F-Sharp blog. It took a dive back in May for no apparently reason other than I had lost interest in writing. That being said, it was a great tool to use to keep my family and friends up to date on what is going on in my life and also a good way for me to vent out frustrations with all things from politics to sports. So this is one of hopefully many entries that I will be posting in the future.

First, a tribute to my grandfather who passed away last Thursday. He was a WWII Navy Veteran, Carpenter, Winemaker, Volunteer, a son, a father, a husband, a brother, and so much more. We will certainly miss him.

Joseph Nicholas Felice
July 27, 1927 - October 4, 2012
Rest In Peace

In recent news, it seems there has been a lot of debate over a recent move by Norton Healthcare to require its employees to get flu shots to protect their patients. Yes, you read that right. To PROTECT THEIR PATIENTS. Those evil bastards are wanting to try and keep people with weak immune systems from getting the flu. This move has been deemed by many as being 'unconstitutional'. Really. So telling a company that they can't enforce a policy that takes strong consideration for their patrons and is not illegal is constitutional? I mean, if the government was sending agents into your house with needles and injecting you against your will - yes, that is unconstitutional. But we are talking about a competitive company wanting to keep their patients from getting an unnecessary and unwarranted illness. I say if you don't like it, then find another job. The flu shot won't kill you, and at worst it may make you sick for a few days. And if does, well then you have a law suit on your hand - good luck with that.

This actually brings up a point that has been irking me for many years. In recent times, I have been able to make observations about human cognitive abilities and it has become apparent that it is a human natural trait to generate anger. It seems that people enjoy being angry more than they do being happy, and because of this they will find reasons to be mad. Don't believe me? Try standing in a McDonald's lobby and compare the number of complaints, or unhappy people there are to the number of compliments or obviously satisfied people within an hour during lunch time.

Ok, lets take this idea a step further. We are talking about a corporate fast food chain. Greasy, less than perfect food, usually smaller and less appetizing than advertised on TV commercials or menu screen pictures.  But at the end of the day, you are being fed. You don't go home hungry, and the original purpose for going to a restaurant has been completed. But you feel compelled to complain that it took ten minutes for your order, the fries weren't hot, something on your sandwich wasn't right (barring food allergies of course), etc. Here's a thought: Take a spear, and try and hunt a deer for dinner. We should be so lucky to have what we have, yet it never seems to be good enough. This reminds me of a classic Louis CK interview with Conan O'Brien which I am posting below.



He has a pretty damn good point, doesn't he?

And we've all done it - myself included. But perhaps this is a good life lesson to us as humans. Maybe we should make it our goal to be as happy as we can every day. Imagine how much better life would be if people stopped trying to find reasons to be pissed off, and concentrated more on appreciating what we have.

Politics is a great example of this. Politics is all about finding reasons to hate the other candidate. Twisting his words and creating memes geared at implementing the belief that he/she is the spawn of Satan. I laughed at the ruckus that stemmed from Mitt Romney's comments about cutting spending from PBS. Instantly, people created an anti-romney campaign that suggested Romney was against Big Bird. I wonder how many of those people have actually donated money to PBS to keep it on air. Or how many of those people give two shits about Sesame Street, or have even watched that show since they were young children. But because their opposing presidential choice said it, it infuriated them. There really isn't anything logical about that.

Be more happy. Say it to yourself. Every day when you wake up. Be more happy. I'm gonna try this, and see if it helps even me.

Ok, now that I'm done with that rant how about a funny picture?


Just kidding. Nothing really funny about that picture, but people seem obsessed that today's date happens to be consecutive numerals. Ok....for reals now.


I think I need to print this out and put it on my wall.

Sports Update:

The reds just lost and will be going home, allowing the Giants to move on to the NLCS. Hopefully the Cards will follow cincy in two more losses to the Nationals. Really, I'm just tired of hearing from their fans.

Louisville Cardinals - Rocking it with a 5-0 record! Saturday at 11 AM (what the hell kinda time is that for a football game??) they will be facing the very inconsistent Pitt team on the road. If Pitt brings their normal game, I think it will be a pretty solid victory for the cards. And this time, we won't have to swim there (hopefully). However, if Pitt decides to play at their best - Strong and Company could be in trouble. Here's hoping to 6-0! Go Cards!

Indianapolis Colts - Not quite sure where we will finish this year. We have a very good QB and a decent running game, but we're a very young team and the chemistry isn't quite there. Coach Chuck Pagano is expected to miss nearly the entire season as he battles leukemia and the entire team has rallied behind him. And they showed their support by stunning the Green Bay Packers in a thrilling rally from an 18 pt deficit. The largest lead the packers have blown since 1957. 1957??? My Dad was 7. He's now 62.

Chicago Cubs - Eh.....they weren't the worst team this year. We're still rebuilding.....not much hope for the future when you barely win 60 games, but I'm confident they are working on a plan.

Music Update:

Superhero Symphony - Rehearsals were going well for a while, but given the challenging brass parts for that piece along with Tchaikovsky Symphony #4, Dr. Goldstein and I have decided it was in our best interest to push the premiere date to April 21, 2013. The good news about that is that we will be able to spend more rehearsal time and push for a much more solid performance.

That is...unless the world blows up in December.

Coming Soon: Scenic Impressions, written for my girlfriend Alison Durbin. I'm not gonna say much about it now, but feel free to listen to the second movement available on my soundcloud.



I'm also currently applying to graduate schools. The three choices I have are in the following order...

1. Michigan State
2. University of Maryland
3. City University of New York

So this is it, the first blog kicking off somewhat a fresh new start of blogging for me! I will do my best to update it daily, but no promises!

 Thanks for reading. :)

- PJF

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Grades, Federal Aid, and A New Engagement

Well, I can't really use time as an excuse for why I have no updated this thing. But I can use the lack of motivation, though seemingly a lot has gone on. Summer is here, and I have a lot more time on my hands. I say that hesitantly, as I am in the three ensembles at IU Southeast and have four concerts in the month of June. But I am only taking one class, and my summer CA job doesn't require nearly as much as the job during the regular school year does. So now, its finding things to do with my time. It has given me a lot of time to work on my Orchestra project, however so that is definitely a good thing.

Speaking of classes, my Spring 2012 Grade report is out....


          I have to say that I am not complaining about those grades. While the B+ in a 5 credit hour class actually brought my GPA down slightly, I have still managed to avoid the 'dreaded' C on my grade report, which is a goal I set for myself after realizing it would be highly unlikely for me to finish school with a 4.0.

You know, its kind of interesting how the GPA itself doesn't transfer when you switch schools. I had someone tell me the other day that it wasn't fair that you could have a really bad GPA at another school but then transfer and get a good GPA. Really? I question on how thats not 'fair'. I mean, its not like you are gift wrapped the new GPA. You are given a second chance, the opportunity to make things right. I don't think thats unfair at all, and everyone has the chance to do that. Alas, the words of an 18 year old who has barely begun to live.

More school fun. In logging into to onestart last week I was disheartened to get this message on my to do list.


I wasn't entirely sure what that meant, and so I rushed to the financial aid office to ensure I was still getting covered for my final year of my undergrad. As it turns out, I was denied because I have accumulated too many hours over the course of the years. See apparently you can only receive federal aid until you reach 160 credit hours, and I have accumulated a total of 170 which sounds like a lot, but the UofL School of Music Education department required 146 hours when I was there. So if their cap was 160, that means if you had ONE bad semester and had to withdraw all of your classes, then you could be screwed out of receiving federal aid. This concept stirred my brother, Paul, to make an interesting status update.


He may have been able to use a slightly more appropriate analogy than 'cooter hair' but the point was well spoken. Interestingly, someone questioned why I am complaining about this and why I have not graduated. Again, shit happens - but at least I'm actually working to try to fix the mistakes of the past. I didn't graduate, no. That was a mistake. I spent years working at crappy jobs trying to keep myself alive, and I was also paying off my student loans. In five years, I think I managed to knock off seven thousand dollars (maybe more). See....I was actually making a conscious effort to pay the government what I owed them. Also, I'm back in school trying to better my future. I am riding a 3.5 GPA cumulative after two years of college....that is not the easiest thing to do.

The injustice is that the federal government is making something like this difficult on me. That our system is set up to reward fortune (or lack thereof) but spit on hard-work and success. Welfare is an unjust system. It was designed to help people in need, which is understandable - but it does nothing to ensure they are trying to land on their feet. It enables people to avoid getting a job and be able to stay at home all day while getting money for doing nothing. Yes, I understand that there are people that flat out can't work - but what about people like me, who ARE working hard? Who WANT to succeed. Where is our help?

I will say this, they are offering me the chance to appeal which I was told by the Financial Aid Officer that I would most likely be granted because it is my final year and I wouldn't have to take out that much more. But the problem with this is that under an appeal you are required by law to only take what is REQUIRED to graduate. This means courses such as trombone study, piano study, and conducting - all classes essential for what I want to get my masters in - will have to be dropped, and I'm not so sure I'm willing to sacrifice a future in music because of some stupid system that was setup by greedy bigots on capitol hill.

Anyway, that is my rant for the day. Obviously, this situation has pissed me off. I have a meeting with my academic adviser to figure out what exactly I should do about this.

On a more positive note, I am happy to say that my younger brother, Mario, is engaged to his lovely girlfriend Whitney!!



Mario has asked me to be his Best Man. I'm not entirely shocked about this, but was pretty excited because since I really don't have anyone I would call my 'best friend' I'm pretty sure this will be my only shot at the coveted honor. They have not set a date yet, but it will probably be next spring - which will be interesting, considering it will be near my graduation. But I could not be happier for the two.

But now for a little humor...



Cracks me up every time.

Another good thing that has come with summer is that I have been taking a lot more care of myself. I have only eaten out a handful of times since the semester ended a month ago, and have increased my intake of fruits and vegetables significantly. I'm also trying to run every night. Since I have been on this 'diet and exercise' kick, I have felt less fatigued, stronger, and more motivated to get things done. Clearly I am doing something right.

                                                                         - PJF



Sunday, April 29, 2012

Theory Analysis and Recording Session

           I guess its a good idea if I update this thing again, now that might life is a little less complicated. The semester is coming to a close and I am looking to get out of it relatively unscathed. Still pulling to avoid any C's, though there are some question marks in some courses - particularly Music Theory. Yes....shocking is it? But this course was a different setup, and I struggled on writing the paper and bombed the presentation. I'm hoping and praying that this is just me being irrationally critical of myself, but I feel when you get confused in your own presentation it should be strongly counted against.

Here's a little snipit from my paper.....


The powerful climax raises a very important question. Why does Eb become the tonal centricity and how is it related to the original tonal center of A? Well, it’s very simple. It has already been determined that Bartók was heavily dependent on symmetry in his music. Eb happens to be a tritone apart from A, and is the exact halfway point between the octave. The diagram below illustrates how each tonal reference point of the subject progresses into the climactic half-way point, and then returns to the original tonal center of A.

Example 6. Tonal Axis Diagram of Bartok’s Music for Strings, Percussion, and Celesta



        In this diagram, it is noticeable that each succeeding interval is an exact mirror image of its counterpart. For example: In the top voice the A moves to the Bb while in the bottom voice it moves to the G#, both of which possess an interval of a half step. Then, the top voice moves to the C#, an augmented 2nd up from the Bb, and the bottom voice also shifts an augmented 2nd down to the F. This of course continues till the end of the movement when the original tonal center of A has returned, thus concluding an amazing display of tonal centricity.



            Not exactly a world-class work, but I'll take it considering how crazy this semester has been. Bartok is not necessarily the easiest composer to analyze either. But if you relate everything to mathematical formulas and symmetry, you are bound to run into some interesting perspectives on his music.








I am happy to say that on April 27, 2012 the clarinetist, Carrie Ravenscraft, and I met up at TNT studios and recorded my solo clarinet sonata 'Perceptions of Strife'. What a spectacular ride it has been with this piece. Carrie gave a stunning performance of the piece on April 16 at the new music festival, and that recording has already been sent to several professors at various music schools including Eastern Illinois State and Kansas State. Now that we are making this recording, we can start thinking about getting the piece published.

I will say as someone who loves writing large scores with lots of instruments, I never could have predicted the potential success I could have writing a piece for ONE instrumental voice.



The studio was nice. Tim Haertel, the main sound engineering professor at IU Southeast, graciously let us use his studio to do the recordings. We had help from Niko Kanstanis, and Josh (I can not remember his last name) on the actual recording. But for the most part it was up to me and Carrie on which takes we wanted to redo, and how we want the recording to sound.





          It wasn't easy, and at times there was a little tension do the lack of clear communication between Carrie and I, but the end product will really be awesome. And this was only a two hour recording session. Carrie and I might have had to take out restraining orders against eachother if we were there for more than 6 hours!






All joking aside, 'Perceptions of Strife' is becoming a great success but it wouldn't have without Carrie's outstanding musical interpretation. She has brought the piece alive, and that means more to me than anyone could know. And the important thing is, we will finish the project! I have already begun the editing process, which is basically me listening to each take over and over and deciding which one I like best. Then that has to be sent off to Tim, and he will piece everything together for the final product. 







All in all, it was a pretty large step for me as a composer. Having my first piece recorded in a studio is definitely a new experience. Tim was very friendly and helpful and he also had a couple of engineering students who assisted with the project as well.

I also have to send a quick shoutout to Tim Miller, who set the whole thing up but more importantly worked with me on 'Perceptions of Strife', and pulled at my 20th century strings to create what I am considering my best work yet!

-PJF







Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Realization

I came to an astonishing realization yesterday. Something that could very possibly strengthen the notion that I was and always have been destined to write music. It happened when my mother and step-dad visited Rich O's in New Albany after a really nice ceremony honoring the new Pinnacle Honor Society members. The PHS is an organization that honors non-traditional students such as myself for academic success and continued contributions for the school. After the past couple of weeks that I have had, it was very nice to have an evening of rest and relaxation. And of course, having a drink at Rich O's following the event was an added bonus.

So I got to talking about an article I had read several days ago about a school out in California that was using music to teach math. Of course, as someone who is an advocate for music in schools, I was overwhelmed with joy that this was going on. When I explained this to my mom, her response was that it made perfect sense because I had always been good at math and she believed that helped me with my music. My succeeding thought was 'oh, lord. Another MOM story about how great her kids were' Then she went on to support her claim by reminding me of my basic programming skills at the age of 5. Being able to retain code values and enter them onto a computer to make elementary programs....at age 5. That's when it hit me. For some reason, I had blocked a key memory out of my mind and it hadn't been an image in my eyes until yesterday. One of the many lines of code that I learned how to do was input musical note values (based on their letter name) into basic programming and then running the program so the tune would play back.

The code went something like this if I recall....

         10 PLAY "CEDD-DF#..."


Or here is an example of what the screen for basic programming looks like, though I couldn't find an example of the play command.


 

Though when I was doing this, there was no window or box. It was all purely on the screen.

I'm not sure the exact age I was when I learned to do this, but it would have had to have been around the age of 10 or 11, when I was taking piano lessons. But when asked how long I've been composing music, I had always dated the beginning to the age of 16, as a sophomore in high school. When in truth, I have been writing music a lot longer than that. And I spent hours upon hours writing different tunes with that coding. Had a blast doing it. Of course, it was only a PC Jr (ca. 1980), so the sounds that came out were monotonically computerized. 


My mom continued to tell me stories of how fascinated I was in elementary school every time a musical instrument was introduced to me. She said I would talk for hours about hearing Mr. Cornish demonstrate the different brass instruments at our school assembly. When I took Piano lessons, I was picking it up faster than most of the kids my teacher had taught - particularly the theory aspect (learning the notes). Even before I started writing music down on paper, I was always creating my own tunes. Using my ears to play things that I loved to hear. I never really appreciated it as much, but there was no question in my mind - I have always been in love with music.

It's been 20 years. Two thirds of my life, and I here I am today. Writing a symphony for a live orchestra. It's amazing to think of how far I have evolved from being able to write a single line of notes to organizing and constructing thousands of them together across a wide palette of musical instruments. But even after 20 years, I still enjoy it the same I did the first day I knew was a C was. That's what separates having an interest in something and being undoubtedly passionate about it.




Sunday, April 8, 2012

An Easter Miracle

"Chris is Risen! He is Risen Indeed!"

No phrase has filled me with more joy this year than that one has. Every time its said, whether ritually or sincerely, I get a warm feeling in my heart. Perhaps that is cliche to say, but it fits perfectly into alignment with the reflection of the past few months, which have not been the easiest on me. It has to do with uncomfortable decisions I've made, decisions I was advised against making. Falling into a world of lies and deceit. Questioning people's motives, wondering if I would ever get through this. And at one point, I looked Satan straight in the eye wondering if his path would bring the joy that it appears to have brought so many. I celebrate love, Christianity, Jesus, God - have for many years. But deep down in my heart, I can not deny that evil does not always lose in the struggle between what is right and wrong. Sometimes things just seem easier if you focus most on what you want, even at the expense of the people you love. And given these temptations, these sadistic philosophies - I found myself turning my back on God to the point of almost complete denial of his existence.

I was angry. Saddened that I had once again been hurt by the people I loved. Devastated that I have continued to try and see the good in people when everyone else is blind to them, and instead found my heart to be repeatedly pierced by my own good intentions. It was a terrible way to feel. I spent many nights laying awake, cold and shivering. Anxious, tearful. A complete emotional trainwreck. I lost sleep. I've been eating unhealthy. And the worst part is, I was so ashamed I didn't feel comfortable talking to anyone about it - not even my own therapist. I was sinking into a dark cavern of hatred, with steep slippery walls.

Then with one last gasp before completely sinking into the dark abyss of temptation and sin, my mind called out to a God I was trying so hard to tell myself did not exist. The words I spoke to him in my mind were as follows:

"God, if you exist, please listen to me. I know you are busy. I am busy too. This isn't me. I know you know its not me. I have a good heart, but it has been tainted by life. It may be a good heart, but its not a strong heart. I need you to make it strong. I don't need you to fix my problems. They are my problems. I just need you to give me strength. To give me a reason to pull myself out of the swallowing depths of hell. Give me a reason to move on. Maybe you don't exist. Maybe the atheists are right. But what I need the most is for you TO exist so you can give me the strength I need to fix myself. Please do this for me."

The voice of doubt that was plaguing my mind stayed with me that night. I asked myself why would a supposed higher being that governed billions of people care about me. Eventually, I fell asleep.

Now, perhaps there are logical explanations for what happened next. Maybe its just coincidental, or I was playing mind games with myself using what I really wanted to drive my inhibitions. All I know is that the next day, I felt like a new person. I suddenly had this unexplained burst of energy flowing through me. Without explaining in detail the changes I faced, it is important to know that throughout the next couple of weeks I managed to get a lot accomplished. I was acing tests left and right and getting papers turned in on time. My co-ca, Shelby, and my boss Jen can vouch for my turnaround as a Community Advisor. The bottom line: I was acting on all of my responsibilities with 0% doubt or denial that I could achieve my goals.

I didn't see tears flowing from a concrete statue. I never had a rosary turn to gold on a trip to Italy, and I've never seen a man who's been blind since birth be able to experience the wonders of sight. However, I DID experience my own miracle. It was a miracle because the previous day I had honestly believed all was lost. I was so self-absorbed in my misery that I failed to recognize that there was someone watching out for me. Or, maybe it was me that WAS the blind man. I didn't think it was possible for me to see, and I held on to the slightest bit of faith I had left desperately asking for the ability of sight. That small grain of faith changed my whole perception, and did it over night. And even to this day, I don't feel like anything can stop me.

Christ experienced a similar miracle. He went through the most painful suffering anyone could experience. And though he stared death in the eye, he used his last grasping breathes to call out to God. God heard him, and responded by resurrecting him from the dead, as I believe God heard me and resurrected me from being completely lost into my own hatred for the people that caused me to hurt. Jesus Christ is Risen, and because of that so have I.

The message of Christianity is often lost by the misquoting and misrepresentation of scripture. The Bible has a lot of great things in it, but it is filled with stories. They might be true. They might be false. But holding them on a higher account than what is truly in your heart seems futile. All Jesus ever wanted us to do was love. And we do that by having faith.

For the small amount of people that read this message, thank you. I'm not the best writer, and I spend a lot of time writing blogs of opinions that I have, but this is a true story that I wanted to share with my friends and family. This was an Easter miracle that I experienced, and this is my way of thanking God for the miracle. By sharing it to the rest of the world, so they too can find faith in their hearts and be 'resurrected' from their own deaths.



Monday, April 2, 2012

The Wacky Month of April

Well, I am approaching the busiest month of the year for me. April is that month where I have a million things that I have set in motion in previous months and now I am waiting for confirmations on. Scholarships, Honor Society Admissions, Competitions. There's a whole slew of them. But the most important one at this point is the  PARMA student composers competition. The winner gets a professional performance and recording. I have entered my composition 'Ataxia!' which is written for Alto Sax, Tuba, Timpani and Percussion. Yes - a very odd combination of instruments. Welcome to the 21st century.



See, that's not so bad is it?

I got the results back from a psychological assessment I had done recently. It was the same thing I had done in 2003, that informed me I was ADHD and suffered from severe anxiety and depression. This time, however, it was astonishing to find out that I had not shown any major symptoms of ADHD and therefor I did not receive a diagnosis for the disorder. This is a good indication that contrary to what some people might have tried to get me to believe, I have won the fight against ADHD without the need for medication. There is no doubt in my mind that I have the disorder, however over the years I have learned to control it to where it is not very apparent. I was informed that my listening skills were perfectly normal. Hmmm...interesting, considering I have been told before that I was a bad listener. The good news is, I've had more people tell me I'm a good listener - and this test confirms it.

My memory was on the weak side as expected, but not nearly as bad as I had anticipated. Believe it or not, it still fell in the average category. And these tests were all based on people my age. Overall, I tested in the high percentile of most of the categories, including intelligence. This of course was good for my self-confidence.

As far as other disorders go, the only thing they could find was some depression and anxiety though a lot of that was the result of what had been going on in my life at the time. There was no Bipolar Disorder or Borderline Personality Disorder. Basically, I was told that I'm as normal as the next person and had nothing to worry about. I can still take medication for my ADHD if I felt like I needed it, but while I am still riding a 3.6, Acing most of my tests, and getting all of my work done on time - I really don't think I need medication.

The moral of the story, I'm not going to be so quick to accept the judgments certain people make about me, because there is no one I know better than myself.


Previously, I posted a blog entry that was all about the Dream Game 2.0. Well, the game has come and gone and sadly for me the Cardinals were defeated by the NBA-esque Kentucky Wildcats. I've said this before, if Calipari doesn't win the national championship with this team he probably never will. The championship game is tonight, and they will be playing Kansas.

Aside from the game, which was just as exciting as anticipated, I was heavily disturbed by the actions of the Kentucky student body (likewise, I would have been just as disappointed if it was the Louisville fan base). Here we have this wonderful game that means so much for a state that has constantly gotten a bad reputation, and a bunch of idiots have to de-evolve to the stages of neanderthals and run around like barbarians, burning everything in sight and flipping cars. That's definitely what I want this state to be remembered for. I know these people are excited, but a little class can go a long way and this was just a poor representation of the Kentucky fan base as well as the state of Kentucky. Completely unacceptable.


I hate for this to take away from the achievement of the basketball team, so I will definitely say Congratulations to Kentucky! Anthony Davis is an amazing player, and he's going to do very well in the NBA! I won't be watching the game tonight, but it will be pretty amazing if Kentucky does win #8 tonight.

I saw this picture (below), and from a personal standpoint it really made me laugh!




On april 13, 2012 five bands will be surfacing at the Clock Tower on IU Southeast for the 2012 IU Southeast Rock Fight. All of the Community Advisers have been working very hard so I encourage anyone who may be reading this to please attend. The bands that will be featured are as follows:

Gym Diablo
Johari Window
CarlFox
Washington and Out
Second Perception

This event is completely free and open to the public, so I hope to see everyone there! And please check out the video that was created and edited by Cory Dixon!



Well, that is it for today. Thanks for reading!

- PJF



Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Dream Game 2.0


Well, it has happened. The impossible scenario that not even Nostradamus could predict. Some have coined this particular meeting Dream Game 2.0, in reference to the Bluegrass Post-Season brawl in 1983. However, those loyal fans that have allowed the rivalry to reach new heights of irrational hatred have considered this Basketball Armageddon. The Clash of the Titans. The Kentucky Civil War (Though today, civility doesn't have as much to do with it). Families are divided, friends become enemies, the best of people turn to their darkest sides in preparation for this phenomenon of the sports world.

Yes, I am talking about the UK vs. Louisville Final Four matchup that will take place this Saturday at 6 PM. These two teams meet every year, but it has been a consistent trend of Kentucky's immaturity mixed with Louisville's barrage of injuries. The same consistent story that meshes with the mentality of hatred the fans seem to implement, and usually results in a hard fought but UGLY game of missed shots, idiotic fouls, and a hell of a lot of turnovers.

But this game - it will be different. Whereas once these two teams were messy, unorganized, and prepared just enough to win a battle, today both of them are clean, polished, and ready for WAR. The two teams are playing their best basketball of the season, and despite the Kentucky fans claiming this will be an easy victory - it is poised to be one of the most legendary games in the history of sports. Where's Christian Laettner when you need him?

Alright, so let me analyze these two teams. Starting with Kentucky. Kentucky is Kentucky. In fact, this year Kentucky basktball looks more like Kentucky basketball should than it has the past 10 years. An unstoppable force, with raging talent that only the best teams could even have a prayer of defeating. Kentucky is the best 'dream team' caliber story in college sports right now, as its a squad of individuals of god-like abilities brought together and forced to work as a team to win basketball games. And we saw what selfish play does to this team. Indiana saw it back in December. Today's Kentucky team is different. They are collective, strong, unselfish, and ridiculously talented. There is not a soul on this planet that knows the truth, the deep dark truth, Kentucky has the major edge on winning this basketball game. And though the cardinal red runs through my blood, I will have to admit that this team has earned it. Outside of Kentucky fans, there aren't too many people that want to see them succeed - but they aren't letting that stop them. Kentucky is easily the favorite to win this basketball game.



Alright, now let's look at this Louisville basketball team. Of initial site, this Louisville team is easily compared to Daniel Ruetteger. Small, mediocre athleticism or talent, an unlikely victor against a giant like Kentucky. But something more important that this Louisville team shares with Rudy is heart. Heart is not something you can teach, coach, train, or force someone to have. Heart is something that one person has, and immediately it spreads to the rest of the team. I credit Peyton Siva with this. There is not a player in the entire tournament that has played with more heart than this Seattle guard who saved his father from suicide at age 13. Louisville is certainly not even close to Kentucky on the talent side, but unlike most of the teams Kentucky has played - they will not roll over and die. And that my friends, is the one thing that could catch Kentucky off guard and result in the unthinkable; the unimaginable. A UK Loss to Louisville.

Peyton Siva Peyton Siva #3 of the Louisville Cardinals shoots the ball during the game against  Chattanooga Mocs at the KFC Yum! CENTER on November 22, 2010 in Louisville, Kentucky.  Louisville won 106-65. 

But David and Goliath isn't the only biblical analogy for this game. Perhaps Cain and Able come to mind? Two brothers, designed for sibling love but instead one is consumed by hate and jealousy of the others successful approval of God that he takes it upon himself to strike down the others in hope to inherit the fallen's riches. Perhaps that is a little extreme, but weather or not Kentucky fans or Calipari wants to admit it - it does appear that he is intentionally been putting himself in the line of fire of Slick Rick in hopes to one day leave Pitino's legacy in the dust. He needs three more final fours, and a National Championship to do it.

 

Calipari once considered Pitino a great mentor. But I'm not so sure Pitino was thrilled with the idea of a protege of his accepting work at the school that made his life miserable. He's made several jabs at the school, and as a result the friendship Pitino and Calipari once had has dwindled to a single thread. Leave it to the Bluegrass to pull these two apart.

The other side of the story is the fuel that each coach has managed to throw into the fire for the opposing fanbase. Calipari has had two final fours stripped by the NCAA because of recruiting violations he may or may not have had anything to do with. However, the situations are just too similar in nature for any card fan to rule out as 'just a coincidence'. Since coming to Kentucky, Cardinal fans have wasted no time portraying profits of Lexington's imminent doom when the axe is dropped upon Calipari's head by the NCAA. Worse yet, you see a recruiting class of the top guys in the nation - one can't help but wonder what Cal's trick is to ensuring the best guys come to Kentucky. Especially, a Kentucky program that just four years ago was getting bounced by a middle tier Big East team in the NIT. As a Cards fan, I've made my share of jokes. But I also know that Calipari is a great coach, loves his kids, and is doing the best he can to give Kentucky what they crave most: A National Championship. This may be his year.

Pitino has a rare history of on-court shadiness. The only thing people can accuse Pitino of since the 80's is being obsessed with the game. It's a shame his personal life can't be as respectable. Since  2010, Pitino's squad has been subjected to verbal destruction including 'Karen Sypher' chants, '15 second' jokes, and the assessment that Pitino is a terrible role model for these kids. There is a lot of speculation that this off court drama may have delayed an impending induction into the Hall of Fame for this coach who has won a national championship, and been in six final fours. The truth of the matter is, the tide is turning for the 59 year old, and the best years of his life may just be the next five years leading into his retirement. Pitino's ability to rebound from the face of tragedy is unmatched. 


So who will win the big game? Will it be the unbelievable talent of the Kentucky wildcats? Or will heart-felt underdog story continue for the surging Cardinals?

Fasten your seatbelts, its gonna be a good one!

GO CARDS!


Sunday, March 18, 2012

The First Day of the Rest of Your Life


Spring is almost here, and that is a very beautiful thing. I'm not a huge fan of cold weather, or rainy weather for that matter, but the fact that the temperatures are going back up is definitely a good thing. Generally, the weather is a major influential factor on my mood and the ability for me to get things accomplished on a regular basis. And thanks to my trusty Desktop Weather program, I can instantly check the weather on my computer before leaving for the day. They also made some major modifications, and it is a lot more user friendly.



Of course, part of their modifications didn't include getting rid of those pesky ads. But I guess they have to stay in business somehow.

Thursday, March 15, 2012 marks the first day of the year in which I dusted off the shorts. This made me very happy, as I am a shorts and t-shirt kind of person. The good weather is also great because I will actually be motivated to get outside and be more active. I'm not a gym kind of person, but I do enjoy playing sports. Last summer, I spent much of the time playing Tennis and Volleyball. I'm hoping to pick that up.


Speaking of sports, it appears that the Louisville Cardinals have found their mojo and have muscled through a Big East tournament championship and are currently one of the sixteen teams that will be playing in the NCAA tournament next week. I will admit, at one point in the season I had lost my high expectations for this team. I honorably retract any negative statements I may have made, as they have really proven their own and no matter what happens, I will be proud of this team.



Louisville plays Michigan St. next thursday in the sweet sixteen. The last time the cards played the spartans, it ended in an unfortunate poor shooting night in the elite 8 and Louisville missed out on their ninth final four appearance.

Remember the Hoosiers? Indiana, who has been MIA for several years since the scandalous play of Kevin Sampson, has returned to the national stage and has also earned a spot in the Sweet 16. Hoosier Hysteria has returned to this part of the country, and the Hoosiers have a chance at doing the impossible: Beating a very good Kentucky team for the second time this season. I like their chances, though Kentucky looks very scary and is easily the favorite to win the tournament. However, this week we saw two number 2 seeds fall in the first round to Norfolk State and LeHigh - an indication that the madness has begun, and the trophy can belong to anyone. Good luck to both Louisville and IU, my two schools!


Oh Peyton! Manning, the 4 time MVP and former Indianapolis Colt (Screw you, Jim Irsay), has become the golden calf of college football. It seems that so many teams are worshiping the ground he walks on, despite the fact that he poses an increasing risk to whatever team he chooses. The Colts learned very quickly the cons of building an entire program around one player. It's like using a block of ice to support the walls of a house. Once the ice melts, the entire house collapses. Ok, perhaps that wasn't the best analogy - but the broncos have offered Manning a 90 million dollar contract. The titans have said they would give him a lifetime contract. LIFETIME? Is there even a buyout on a lifetime contract...if so, what would it be? I've heard it would basically make Manning have part controlling ownership in the franchise. That's great, but one question remains. What if he takes another strong hit? The guy just had neck surgery, he hasn't been on the field in over a year.


Perhaps its just sour grapes. I wish Manning the best, with whatever program he goes to. I just hope to GOD he doesn't go to the Titans.

I have not yet abandoned the notion that I could be exiting this semester with the glorious 4.0 I've been wanting since I came here. Though some events in February set me back slightly, I choose not to let some excuses become the reasoning for my shortcomings. Lately, I've been feeling a surge of energy and I've been putting into many of my responsibilities: Including my work as a Community Advisor for the IU Southeast Lodges.

As far as my grades go, I am teetering on a B+ in just about all of my classes. This makes the rest of this month and April a very crucial time for me, in which I intend to spend a lot of time with my nose to the grindstone in my studies.


I found this especially humorous as someone that is guilty of the 'hidden texting' violation. To be fair, its actually 'hidden facebooking'. Perhaps I have an addiction?



Minimalists meet math nerds. Gotta love it.

I managed to land a gig for next week. I never get gigs, but I guess since I chose to announce to the world that I am a trombone player and hide my euphonium playing abilities the same way I would a rebel child, then people will tend to add me to their summoning list. It was Brent "Rusty" Crimm who landed me the gig, and I will be playing with a high school show choir from Oldham County. I've looked at the music, and for a person who has only been playing trombone for a year and a half since storing the instrument in the closet some eight years ago - it is not very easy. The music is also jazzy, which is something I hung in the closet and haven't pulled back out yet.


Damn straight.

Aside from my busy schedule with gigs, ensembles, schoolwork, and CA I've also collected a variety of musical projects for the upcoming year. Currently, I am nearing completion of my composition for Alto Sax, Tuba, Timpani, and Piano. Plans fell through to have the work performed at the New Music Concert on April 16, however I am pushing to get it premiered in the fall. Also in the fall will be the debut of my Orchestration abilities as a piece I am writing for the Orchestra will be premiered. Then, on March 17 of 2013, I am anticipating a spectacular senior recital. I also make things larger than they need to be, so expectations will probably be high for this concert. And of course I am looking forward to it!

It is safe to say that things are going wonderfully for me! I have fought off doubt, and irrational decisions to better my world and the road is going nowhere but up. It definitely is a great place to be.


Thursday, March 8, 2012

The Hat Trick of Social Taboos

While I may never fully recover from the events that unfolded in early February, I have to say that I have bounced back with furious energy and things are going great right now. In fact, things have gotten so back on track that when I visited my therapist the other day, I really didn't have many negative things to say. Instead, we resorted to a religious discussion focused on the legitimacy of the Holy Bible. This discussion came into play when I had expressed difficulties within my own faith resulting from some of the Anxiety attacks I had. After a lot of processing and analyzing, I came to a solid conclusion I can live comfortably with. There is a God, but there is not one religion that is 100% accurate - or if there is, there's no real way to tell who it is. Frankly, if the God is as loving as I hope he is I really can't see him treating the massive amounts of religions and denomination of religions like one big shell game - and the winner goes to Heaven. That's just not very settling.

As far as the Bible goes - its a great book. I have no quarrels with the Bible. However, I take a more metaphorical approach to it. The stories in the book, particularly in the old testament, may or may not be true. But that doesn't mean there aren't good messages behind them. Moses may or may not have been the author (under the guidance of God) of the ten commandments, and stood on a mountain top condemning those who broke them. But does that mean the rules are flawed and we shouldn't at least attempt to follow them?

The Bible, whether you believe in God or not, is a good and noble book to live life by. Not everything in it may be squeaky clean, but the general messages of love and forgiveness are built on morals human's have the capabilities of possessing. The problems occur when people either misunderstand what is written, and false quote it. (Yes, I'm talking to you hilltop evangelists who believe that somewhere in Hebrews it reads 'God Hate Sin'. I looked it up, in 3 different versions. You are wrong).

It should also be important to note that I do not claim to be 100% right in this belief. And if I'm wrong, may God have mercy on my soul. But I think the most important message is Love. Not punishment. Not hate. Not homosexuality. Not any of those 'hot button' topics people love to stir religious debates over. As much as some people don't like John Lennon for his personal lifestyle choices, he did have one thing right when he said "All You Need is Love".

Anyway, that is my soapbox speech of the day. How about a picture?


I laughed for a solid five minutes when I saw this.

So, as the Coordinator of Bands for the IU Southeast annual Rock Fight I am happy to say that I've managed to nab about six bands to battle it out for the prize on April 13. This should be a great event, so if you aren't doing anything - might as well stop in, right?



Can we say OWNED?

I really shouldn't talk politics in a blog where I've already talked about religion, but I guess if I make sure to mention the Great Pumpkin then I've pulled the hat trick of social taboo's.

It appears that Mitt Romney is the alleged front runner of the republican primaries. Or as Rush suggests "Conventional Wisdom says he will be the nominee." I'm not quite sure how I feel about this. I haven't watched the debates or read much from media outlets (which is probably a good thing), and the only thing I know is what I've heard from friends. But it seems to me, the one that I feel would be best for this country is Ron Paul. Not only is he sincere, but he appears to genuinely care about the middle class - and not necessarily at the expensive of people that happen to make a lot of money. He recognizes serious problems within the Government...problems that Americans are either too proud or too scared to admit.

Ron Paul...2012.

Humpday Picdump Banned In Hollywood 791 Banneds Humpday Picdump (133 Pictures)

You gotta admire the creativity!

Well that's it for today. Thanks for reading!

Thursday, February 23, 2012

#2 For Family Fun!

Before writing today's, I would like to warn anyone who was a former employee of the late "Six Flags Kentucky Kingdom" that there is a chance you might get offended, but at the same time please understand that unless I use a specific name my argument is not directed at any one individual but at the entire system overall.


It has officially been announced that Bluegrass Boardwalk, formerly called Six Flags Kentucky Kingdom, will open under the management of the Koch Family in May of 2013.

You remember the Koch family right? The family that started an entertainment park out of nothing over sixty years ago and now owns and operates one of the most successful venues for family entertainment which is located in the small town of Santa Clause, Indiana and goes by the name Holiday World. It is a small park, with only three major roller coasters - yet somehow manages to bring in a million visitors a year. These were numbers once seen by Kentucky Kingdom before it was purchased by Six Flags. Since then, those numbers had declined and Holiday World's had increased. Notable trend?

What the Koch family is planning on doing with Bluegrass Boardwalk is great for the state, and a better than the alternative of allowing Kentucky Kingdom to rot over the years. But there seems to be a bit of irony in all of the excitement about the Koch family purchasing this park. I do recall a time when my friends and I, and many other employees from the park would travel to Holiday World and spend the majority of the time comparing and criticizing the methods used by Holiday World. In fact, HW became somewhat of a mortal enemy for us Kingdom dwellers. Even our management would use the comparison for training techniques. Did you see what I just said?

"Management used the comparison for training techniques." Ahhh so now what we have is the understanding that we were once in fact brain-washed to hate the Koch family and hate that place. So perhaps it is actually good to see the former employees celebrating the Hoosier Family Fun expansion (That sounds like a Sims game) as it is an emergence from the shadows of being drones for the Six Flags Family. And yes.....we were Six Flags employees, not Kentucky Kingdom employees. I can count on my fingers the number of people I know that were actually Kentucky Kingdom employees.

So while I never intend to work at another amusement park as long as I live, my opinion stands firm that this is without a doubt a great thing for the state of Kentucky. Soon, this park is likely to make a higher financial gain than any other Six Flags park - and probably the Noah's Ark park in northern Kentucky that likely won't make it past its first year.

What I really want to know is what the hell happened to this guy??



My sources say that either the city of Louisville, or the Kentucky State government (or both) stuck the capital knife into any possibility he had of taking control of the park. So from my understanding is that the Koch family has purchased this park out of their own funds and is working with the Ky State Fairgrounds to get a park open that will be a positive tourist attraction and financial generator for the state (or city) that refused to help get the park open. But instead, they want to legalize gambling and build casinos that will target a certain type of person (oh, and age group since you have to be 21). Great job, Kentucky...way to think outside the box on that one!

Oh, and how about we mention the funding that is going into a Bible-Themed amusement park in northern Kentucky that is only going to attract people closely confident in their faith. Do you really think that people who believe but have their questions are going to want to be bombarded by bible versus and declarations of grace while they are just trying to enjoy a nice day in a park. Noble idea, but a kick in the face to people who have been dying to see Kentucky Kingdom restored. And trust me, I'm relatively confident in my faith as well....but it seems like we could have spent our money better.


Realistically, I think the Koch family is trying to do what Disney did and had great success in. Minimizing their expansion, and branding their parks with the word 'family'. Mark Shapiro tried to do this with Six Flags, but perhaps the company was too far gone for this to even continue as an idea. The main difference between Disney and Six Flags is that Disney actually gives what it offers.

Here's an Example.

Disney: Disney Cast Members are taught to close their conversations with guests with the phrase "Have a Magical Day". Perhaps its not witchcraft or sorcery, but from what I hear when you are there you feel as though you are in a different world, where nothing can go wrong. That's the kind of magic they are talking about.

Six Flags: In 2008 Six Flags came up with the slogan 'More Flags, More Fun' This occurred at a time where Six Flags was furiously selling and closing locations, as well as canceling the operation of signature rides and posting up signs for two or three years claiming that new attractions were coming. Great job there, guys. Nice to know you all are firm believers in 'IRONY'.


Even though their current establishment is small, and Bluegrass Boardwalk is not much larger - Holiday World's ideas of targeting families is somewhat in alignment with Disney. Disney succeeded in theming their parks, and this is a direction the Koch family will surely go with their new family member. So here's to Bluegrass Boardwalk, the restored Kentucky Kingdom opening in May 2013!

Maybe they can make their slogan "There's more than bourbon, horses, and fried chicken in Kentucky!"








Wednesday, February 22, 2012

The Healing Process

When I worked at a retail store around four years ago, I was bitten by the worker's compensation bug (not sure if I'd call the compensation a 'bite' on my part) after falling off of a ladder and breaking my left wrist. As part of their procedure, the company placed me on light duty. Being the driven hard-working individual I was, I refused to accept being temporarily disabled and continued to do my work as normal. The result of this behavior was not so kind to me, and underwent a prolonged recovery which eventually resulted in me needing surgery.

In retrospect of the current events that have unfolded in my sporadic life, I was reminded of this story by a colleague today. There appears to be a life lesson in this analogy, as it suggests that through whatever trials we face in life if we do not allow ourselves the time to heal from our wounds, we may never recover from them. The truth is, I've never been able to allow myself to heal from my most devastating experiences and they just disappeared over time - but sometimes only temporarily.

I paid a pretty hefty price this week when I took the mentality that I'm just going to continue as normal as if nothing had happened. In return, I saw many of my grades slip after suffering through a mean streak of five exams, none of which I aced. In fact, the grade that matters the most suffered a 72%. In all fairness, I had to take the exams - however, I did some analysis today and found that perhaps there were things I could have done for myself that would have made my exams easier on me.

My heart speaks much louder than my brain. More importantly, it has a clear-cut idea of what it wants while my brain is still trying to process an array of ides that keep pouring in. What this does is causes my emotions that are driven by my heart to take control of my cognitive abilities and remove the abilities to make rational and logical decisions. Because of this, I tend to make shoddy decisions when I have every reason in the world to go in the other direction. So any cognitive processing that I might have been able to use on these exams was disrupted by the clouds of emotions streaming through my brain, which is a pretty logical explanation for my test scores that in no way reflected the actual knowledge I have gained in the courses.

By this hypothesis, there really isn't a whole lot of room for a learning opportunity other than taking the necessary precautions in the future to allow myself adequate time to heal. But if my emotions are really overwhelming my brain preventing it from being able to structure a series of well organized-thoughts, perhaps there really is little that I can do about that. Or it could be that I need to consider removing myself from certain situations that might be stimulating these responses. The question then remains, what is currently going on in my life that is causing this?

Whatever it is, I'm sure in time I will figure it out. I know many people are wondering why I can't just 'let go' of things - but clearly those people have never taken a psychology course before.