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Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Blame it On the Red Bull

Disclaimer: Be advised that I tend to use a lot of words out of context. If you are aware of this, simply replace the culprit with the word 'titmouse' and you'll be trying so hard not to laugh that I guarantee you will forget all about the error in question.

It's finals week. And what would finals week be without our dear friend 'Red Bull'? Speaking is very possible I am gaining a helpless addiction to this anti-sleep aid. See for yourself....

Um....yeah. I think I should mention that Mr. Sandman is currently winning the battle, however the War has just begun. Special thanks to Erin J. Carlisle for taking this gem....

So the cubs are crap. I mean...that's kind of to be expected, but seriously....we (we being anyone and everyone who has put any sort of dollar amount into merchandising in support of said program) were tied for first just a week ago and now it appears we have dropped to two and a half games behind the hated St. Louis Cardinals. To make matters worse....its not even the Cardinals fans we have to hear it from....rather its the reds fans. Seriously? You'd think a team with as many championships as the Reds would have a pretty good fan base, but I'm still trying to find that miracle-grow covered garden that produced the massive fan base that appeared last season - because they sure as hell didn't exist for the previous twenty years. Whereas Cubs fans can sell tickets at Wrigley amidst a 50-win season.

According to Robert Zemekis and Bob Gale the Cubs will finally win the world series in 2015.....against Miami. Unfortunately for them, they made this prediction in 1989....two years before Miami actually did acquire a team and chose to deviate from the state's apparent obsession with the family Alligatoridae and went with a fish instead. Its a little ironic that it was the Marlins that took out the cubs in the 2006 National League Championship Series. Thanks a lot Steve Bartman. Clearly you are the ONLY fan who would have gone after a foul ball in that situation.....

So perhaps Zemekis could be write about us finally being able to break the infamous 'Goat' curse (This also amuses me because I always assumed the only use for goats was to be abused by drunken members of college fraternities. Apparently they can also destroy professional sports franchises - who knew?) I foresee a bigger challenge.....proving the Mayans wrong. It is kind of funny that Sarah Palin could be running for President, the Cubs could be playing for a title, and I could be graduating from college right around the December 21, 2012 doomsday prediction. Signs of the Apocalypse perhaps?

Speaking of nearly impossible scenarios that could potentially mean the dreadful destruction of our planet, this was just too funny to ignore......

Props to ESPN for thinking outside the box here. Waaaaaaaaaaaaay outside the box.

Victor Philpott, a former co-worker and long-time friend of mine, will be turning thirty-one years old on Saturday and it is expected to bring a celebration of epic proportions at the home of one Travis Desmond. Unfortunately, this news also reminded me that the big 3-0 for me is just around the corner. 30 years doesn't seem that old on the surface, but when you have distance memories of listening to repeated math problems on VINYLS......well, yes....I'm gettin up there.

If I had known that every math I ever needed to do could be done on a calculator, that is now on an item I carry with me at all times, I wouldn't have wasted my time listening to "2 plus 2 is four!" a hundred times over and over again.

The Red Bull is now waving the white flag....and I believe that's my cue. I'm hoping my dreams are in french tonight, because I need a miracle for my 'Conversational' portion of my French Final which is tomorrow.


  1. You gave in to the sandman so soon? Peter, I thought you were stronger than that.... I, personally, am finishing up my presentation for Theory 4. A pot of coffee and I'm good to go. As for the Cubs, really. Run. Run the other way. The only thing good in Chicago is the CSO. And the hot dogs. And Gino's East pizza. I speak, as a native Chicagoan. Goodnite xox :)

  2. Heheheh... titmouse... hehehehheh...