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Monday, February 20, 2012

Addicted to Coffee

I think I have a coffee addiction. Here I am - on a Monday night at 6 PM - and I just started a new pot. This aligns perfectly with the strange times of day that I've usually started a pot. Not just in the morning, but at 4:30....and now 6? And sometimes, I'll even make two pots in one day. I've done an online search for the signs you are addicted to coffee, because we all know the internet is the best source for factual information.

Here is what I could find....
(By the way, the copy and paste function for blogger isn't working right, so if you can't read what it says below just highlight with your mouse :) )

1. You tell your friends what a great night’s sleep you had…while you’re in line to get a grande coffee from Starbucks.

2. After a day without coffee you’re bombarded with headaches or worse, migraines.

3. You praise the coffee’s power to keep your bowel movements on a precise schedule.

4. You say things like, “you don’t want to talk to me until I’ve had my morning coffee.”

5. You’ve become friends with the cashier at your favorite coffee place.

6. When you say you need a coffee, you say it like it’s a matter of life or death.

7. Even after 8-10 hours of sleep, you can’t drag yourself out of bed in the morning.

8. You consider a large (or venti) coffee to be the equivalent of one cup of coffee. News flash, it’s 2.5 cups.

9. You hate camping because it’s too difficult to get a decent cup of joe in the morning.

10. You’re dating the barista just to get free espressos.

11. You arrive at parties with a six pack in one hand, and a cup of coffee in the other.

12. You’ve considered buying or already own a t-shirt with some cheesy saying on it, like “my blood type is coffee.”

13. You constantly engage in lengthy debates about which coffee place has the “best” coffee.

14. You have coffee breath all the time.

15. You married the barista so you could get great coffee at home.

16. You have a preference for which country your beans come from.

17. You’re drinking a coffee right now.

18. You work at a coffee house just for the free coffee.

19. You always carry a coffee thermos or travel mug with you.

20. You know the difference between a caffè macchiato and a latte macchiato

21. You named your pet or child Java.

Ok, so none of those apply to me (except #17). In fact, those people are just SICK. I guess I'm ok.

But seriously, until I bought a functioning coffee pot that cost more than $10 I had probably spent way too much money at the school's coffee shop. And I always get the same thing, a Large Carmel Latte. One of the cashiers, Jessica, knew it as my usual. But for some reason, none of the other girls that work there never remembered despite how much I was in there...getting the same damn thing.

It's not the first time I've had a usual. In fact, I've always been a person who hates when I have to make decisions. I have several usuals at many different places because I don't like making decisions. The Superbird at Denny's, 12 hot BBQ wings and an order of pepper jack cheese wedges at BW3's, a BBQ Bacon Cheeseburger at Beef O'Brady's. Just to name a few. I can't help but wonder if my indecisiveness has something to do with my impatient nature and impulsive tendencies?

Okkkkkkkk so I got a little off topic. But I guess the point is I wonder what kind of negative effect this coffee addiction I seem to have is having on my physical body - if any at all? I guess there are much worse things I could be addicted for. But I certainly feel that my ability to function is much better after I've had my morning coffee. Gee...that sounds like my mother.

Speaking of my mother, I'm sure she would love this cartoon....

My mom, the Grammar Queen.

I never really understand why people get so undone by grammatical errors posted on facebook. It's a public social network. Who the hell cares if you use the wrong form of 'your'?? Personally, I just think its a pathetic way for an ignorant fool to try and make people think he knows what the hell he's talking about. Which is kind of interesting, because when someone jumps up with the 'oh oh he used their when he should have used there!' argument during a discussion, the last thing I think is "WOW!!! THAT GUY MUST BE A GENIUS". Instead I think.....

....what a total douche.

I mean, really. Who does that? If someone is having a discussion....CONTRIBUTE TO THE DISCUSSION. Don't try and make people think you are smarter by whippin out your Grammar Police Badge. That's just dumb.

Now, here's an example of when a grammatical error should matter. My brother received this in his e-mail.

In that situation, the validity of the e-mail is in question. So then, you aren't a total douchebag if you comment on the grammatical errors in that invite.

Grammar is important to learn for the sake of writing up important documents and e-mails, but Facebook should be an ESCAPE from that crap. At least....that's how I sees it.

dog fail

We've all been there before.....

The Sherman Minton bridge opened after being closed several months because of a crack that was discovered last year. This came several weeks prior to the anticipated opening date, but perhaps all the bridge construction officials were sick of hearing about Whitney Houston and wanted to give all the Louisville people on facebook something ELSE to ramble on about.

I'm glad it re-opened though. I used to take that bridge all the time when going home, or to work at the Yum Center....which I haven't been to in nearly a year. I wonder if I'm still on the payroll there.

Alright, well that's it for today. Short blog, but hopefully a humorous one that I put almost zero thought into while writing. Those are always the best. :)

Peace, Love, and a Bottle of Rum,


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